10 Laws that India Desperately Needs Against RAPE !!

With the amount of Rapes going on in India we definitely need some stricter laws to be enforced in our country.

Here are the laws that I propose should be introduced in India to, if not prevent, atleast minimize the number of rape cases happening here.

1. There should be a Dress Code for women. All women including visitors should be wearing only skirts or sarees. No salwars or jeans for any of them. After all it’s easier for a girl to run with her skirt/saree up than a boy with his pants down.

2. Like Samuhik (Public) Ganeshutsav, we should have a Samuhik Rakhi Utsav. Where all the women should tie rakhis to all the men, and this should be made mandatory. This will probably mean that any woman will have atleast 400-500 brothers around her at any given point of time, and the options for men to rape will be reduced. Those who are undergoing marital rapes can tie rakhis to their rapist husbands. I am sure that will work.

3. No woman should be allowed to board a moving bus/train/vehicle. Statistics show that a lot of rape cases happen in moving vehicles and not in stationary vehicles. So if the vehicle starts moving the lady should quickly get off. Yes, this will cause some commuting problems, but then why do women need to go anywhere, in any case?

4. Saraswati Mantra should be made a part of the school syllabus right from 1st standard. It has been noted by eminent scholars that chanting the Saraswati Mantra at the appropriate moments prevents rape. Making this a part of the syllabus will ensure that every woman knows the mantra by heart and will be able to quickly recollect it at the right time.

5. Dark Glasses on vehicles should be allowed!!! That will ensure that no one is a witness to any rapes happening inside a vehicle (even a stationary one, we took care of the moving vehicles remember??). What you can’t see, hasn’t happened. This will bring down the number of cases drastically.

6. All Mobile companies should quickly adhere to the policy of not selling mobiles or simcards to women. Studies from undisclosed sources, have shown that women using mobiles are subject to rapes. Strict punishments should be meted out to Companies who sell sim cards to women.

7. We should forcefully bring in the Prevention of Denting and Painting act 2014. This will ensure that lipsticks and other make up products can be sold only to men. Women will not be able to purchase these products. Men however, will be free to put on make up and lipstick when they go out.

8. All Pubs, Discos, Restaurants, Movie Theaters, and basically any public places should carry strict warnings of “Women not allowed between 7:00 am to 2:00 pm and 4:00 pm to 7:00 am“. Other than those timings, ofcourse establishments are free to serve and accept the female patrons. After all, women have as much right to enjoy a good drink and music as everyone else. Doors of these establishments at these timings should be kept open.

9. All Chinese food (even if made indigenously) and all Chinese products should be banned with immediate effect. It so appears that Chinese products and Chinese food have a detrimental effect on the male population of our country and creates hormonal changes in then, making them a perfect specimen of a “Man in Heat”. If you don’t believe me, check the population of China. This will also help the Udipi chains which are fast losing business and will also help the Indian manufacturers who cannot compete with the Chinese products. Talk about, killing two birds in one stone??

10. No marriages to be allowed after the age of 4yrs. All women, irrespective of their caste/creed/religion (look at the effort at equality) should be married before they are 4 yrs old. This will bring down the rape cases drastically. Anyone who is not married till the age of 4 years will automatically be considered as “Wanting to be Raped” and will be considered as “Open Game“.

And finally, as some wise man has said, if inspite of all these laws, inspite of making a genuine and honest effort in trying to curb rapes in the country, if at all a woman is raped …. She should ignore it or she should enjoy it. After all, if you didn’t get married by 4 years, you were probably asking for it.

Do you see how simple it is to curb rapes?? All we need is to introduce these laws in our country. After all, isn’t it much better to introduce such laws, than to actually pull up the boys?? After all, Boys will be Boys, they are bound to do a little mischief now and then…. Right?

I mean, increase policing, have respect for the women, ensure their safety, treat them with dignity and then if a rape happens, catch the culprits, prove their guilt, punish them to the highest extent of the law, ensure swift justice sounds like such a huge task !!!

And didn’t they say, prevention is better than cure??

Disclaimer: For those who didn’t catch the satire in this, can get on the streets and start protesting. After all, whether we can manage to teach our Men restraint, whether we can learn to respect the women or not, we definitely excel at taking out protest marches and giving dharnas for anything under the sun 😉

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