So the match is over and India has been dealt with a stunning defeat, but I dont really think that it was a fair match in the first place.
No, dont get me wrong, I am not blaming our Team India. I am actually inclined to blame our politicians for this.
Firstly, we did not allocate our resources to this match properly.
We should have sent in Amit Shah from BJP before the match even started, he would have rigged things in such a way that, whatever Australia scored they would have gone above 150 runs.
Perhaps Sambit Patra could have been sent in, so that he could have convinced the Aussies that since India was looted by the Congress for the last 67 years, we should be given extra 20 overs and 5 wickets for our side of batting.
Or we could have always sent in Arun Jaitley towards the end of the match. He would have fudged the figures and convinced everyone how India’s 233 was actually 350 and that we had technically won the match by a huge margin, like our GDP increase in current times.
And then ofcourse we could have sent in Arvind Kejriwal of AAP to rescue our failing team. He would have declared a 50% Subsidy for Indian team. So we would have had to score only 164 runs to win.
But not all is lost yet, we still have our Bramhastra PM Modi. He can still do a ”Mann Ki Baat” with our Indian Cricketers and Viewers and convince them how we have actually somehow won and that these are ”Ache Din” for Indian Cricket.
He might have even given the Indian team a Plastic Photoshopped Cup at the hands of Sharad Pawar, who is already in Australia and we would have not known any better.
And Smriti Irani can vouch for that claiming that her Pet Parrot has said so.
That said, I am only glad that no one stood up and demanded a Ban on the telecast of this match because it can be damaging to the International Image of India.
Btw, I just heard that Subramanian Swamy has sent a tweet to #Virat Kohli asking him to change his name. He doesnt want any Viraat associating with such a bad performance.
Seriously, They should have taken Anushka Sharma in the team rather than Virat …. she did a better job at hitting in her NH10.
Disclaimer: Two minutes of silence for all those people who missed their offices to watch this massacre. You are going to feel the wrath of your angry boss tomorrow (coz he wasted his day too). Good Luck