In our Today’s segment of Kele Pe Kachra our “Inebriated Interviewer” welcomes our First Guest of the show ….. BJP PM Modi … for, who better but him to start our New Segment with…
II: Welcome to Kele Pe Kachra, Sir. Its a pleasure to have you on our show.
M: Shift a bit, you are blocking the Camera!!
II (shifting): Sorry Sir. Shall we begin?
M (Smiles at Camera): Sure.
II: Sir, What do you think of the Pakistan involvement in the recent Pathankot Attack?
M: These attacks were made by “Enemies of Humanity”. Nawaz Bhai has been very helpful. He personally looked after me when I was in their country.
II: Is it true that you have given a very stern warning to Mr. Sharif about this?
M: Ofcourse. I have told him clearly. If this continues NO MORE BIRTHDAY PARTIES!!!
II: Sir, what do you have to say about the NSA’s handling of the entire incident?
M: Devil is a great guy…
II: Doval, you mean?
M: Yes, him too. Great guy. He has handled the Pathankot incident with the same efficiency as he handled the Attack on Parliament and the Kandhahar Hijack, when they happened.
II: Sir, we lost quite a few lives of our brave soldiers. How will we plan to prevent such losses in further cases, if any?
M: Well, as our Defence Minister said, only one Soldier died in Combat. With others, it was sheer Bad Luck … We are at the moment in consulation with a Team led by Smriti ji’s Astrologer on how to improve the Luck Factor of our Soldiers. A Report will be submitted soon.
II: So how will we prepare ourselves for future Terrorist Attacks?
M: My team is working with Ramdev Baba to develop a Yoga program specially designed for Terrorists….. “Yoga Se Hi Hoga”. If we get the Terrorists to do Ramdev’s Yoga, they will be so busy trying to get their own legs untangled from their necks, they wont be able to plan any terrorist attacks. Also, they will be easy to identify due to their non-stop Winking. (winks at the Inebriated Interviewer).
II: Is this incident going to change our strategy with Pakistan? Will we cut off talks with them?
M: Ofcourse not !!! Pakistan is actually lucky that I am not in the Opposition. Warna Unki Eet se Eet baja dete. But since I am in Power we will be taking it slow and continue our talks with them ….. and then again, I have taken a certain liking to their Biryani made in Desi Ghee ……Do you know that the Pakistani Biryani is distinctly different than what we get in Gujarat??
II: No idea, Sir. So are we considering any actions against Pakistan at all?
M: At the moment none. We will continue our Cultural Exchange program with Pakistan.
II: What Cultural Exchange program Sir?
M: Oh, We take Adnan Sami, they take Aamir Khan ….. that one.
II: Thank You very much Sir for your very frank answers. It was a pleasure talking to you (moves to shake hands)
M: Gando Thai Gayo?? SHIFT !!!! You are BLOCKING THE CAMERA !!!!
II: Sorry… Sorry Sir.
M: Buss Dosti Bani Rahe ….. Dosti Bani Rahe… (starts peeling a banana)
Disclaimer: This Interview was reported to us at 3:00 am to us and the voice was rather slurred. The authenticity of this Interview is highly debatable and we cannot vouch for it. This is not meant to insult or demean anyone and should be taken with a pinch of salt …. okay, maybe have a KG of salt.