Since When Did the Roar of the Lion Turn into A Weeping Nirupa Roy??

Anyone who has watched the speech given by Modi in Hyderabad must have been moved to tears, like I was.

I am serious.

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I saw Modi’s speech……. Bollywood has indeed lost one damn fine actor. This loss of epic proportions to the Movie Industry was perhaps the main reason for my tears.

In his speech, Modi came up with a gem of a phrase. “Fake Gau Rakshaks”. So like Good Taliban and Bad Taliban we also have Real Gau Rakshaks and Fake Gau Rakshaks now.

I am not sure how one can spot the difference between the two.

Is it that when they are whacking you with their bamboo sticks you ask them, “Bhaiya are you a Real Gau Rakshak or a Fake Gau Rakshak? See, because if you are a Fake Gau Rakshak you are supposed to beat up Mr. Modi. If you are a Real one, carry on.” and then give a cute smile as they whips your ass.

But the best part of Modi’s speech was when he said in a voice, well modulated to appear as if trembling with anger, “Dont attack the Dalits, attack me. Dont shoot the Dalits, shoot me”.

Coming from the Prime Minister of India, it was rather funny that instead of saying, “If you attack the Dalits, I will put you behind bars”, Modi actually was trying to play the martyr like the helpless Mom of the Hindi cinema.

It actually reminded me of the times when a weeping Nirupa Roy used to stand in between the Hero and the Villain saying, “Maarna hain to pehle mujhe maar”.

I am not sure whether this stellar performance of Modi would earn him the Dalit votes that he desperately trying to woo back since the past two days, but I am pretty sure, it might earn him a Filmfare nomination, atleast.

Meanwhile, during this speech the BJP legislator Raja Singh, who was cheering the Gau Rakshaks beating up Dalits in Una, was sitting in the front rows of the audience probably playing #PokemonGau and looking for his next victim.

Irony just got killed in a fake encounter.

Disclaimer: My heartfelt apologies in advance to the soul of Nirupa Roy whose entire career has been emulated by Modi in a matter of one speech.

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