Those who have been cribbing about no additional security features in the new Rs. 2000 notes would be shocked to hear that secretly, yes ….. very very secretly, Modi Ji, has introduced a hidden security feature in the new notes.
And this security feature is so confidential, that nobody knows about it. Not even the RBI. Only a few people closest to Modi Ji (like your friendly neighbourhood Bholu Bhakt) know about this security feature and have been sworn to secrecy.
They are only allowed to tell about this security feature through forwarded messages in their respective WhatsApp groups.
The latest feature is the use of radioactive ink in the new currency notes !!! I kid you NOT !!
Phosphorous 32 (P32) is a radioactive isotope and is used in this radioactive ink. P32 consists of 15 protons and 17 neutrons and 420 Mitrons which basically gives me no clue as to what it has to do with traceability, but hey, that information is available on Wikipedia too. I am guessing its the “Mitrons” which are traceable.
When a huge accumulation of notes is done, a strong radiation is emitted which will help the IT sleuths to track the hoarders !!
So if you see some guys in black coats and black ties, with black sunglasses and earpieces, going around your colony at night, with a machine in their hand which has a red and a green light, that goes Bleep Bleep Bleep, rest be assured, they are our super IT sleuths tracing the radiation in your area.
Hah !! And you thought you would be able to get away by hoarding the new currency?? Didnt Modi Ji say that he has cameras on the backdoors too?? And you thought he was talking about “50 Shades of Grey part 2 “??
However, there is a small loophole available to bypass this security feature.
You know how Cow Dung pancakes (only from Desi Gau Mata) can stop radiation???
So, if you store these notes in a metal safe and coat the safe with Desi Cow Dung Cakes, the radiation will not go out of the safe and the IT sleuths will not be able to detect it.
But since, the Anti-National Modi haters do not believe in this stuff about Cow Dung stopping radiations, they will not be spared, but the Bhakts from BJP will be able to still hoard the money, leaving BJP with enough funds for their election campaigns while Congress and all other parties go broke.
This is a Masterstroke by the Masterstroker Modi.
Infact UNESCO was going to declare this just a few minutes back, but even they dont know this secret.
If rumors are to be believed, Modi ji’s next attack on black money would be on Gold hoarding. All Gold will be implanted with Himesh Reshamiyya microchips and whenever you hoard excess gold, Himesh Reshammiya will start singing from the chip “Ek Baar Aaja Aaja Aaja Aaja Aaaaaaaaajaaaaaa” and the IT sleuths will “Aaja” in your house !!!
Gold obtained from Cow Urine would be exempt from this.
Disclaimer: Bulk buying of Cow Dung Cake coated safes can be done via my online portal http://www.MainFektaHunTuPakad.com. Payments accepted only by Credit Card and PayTm. No old currency will be accepted.