The last few days were quite enlightening for me, and amusingly so. I learnt so many things about the society in general, I tell you.
Like; Rapes and Molestations are akin to motorbike accidents and its your fault for not wearing a helment, if you are involved in one. So basically, women while walking on the streets or getting into public transports, “accidentally” get their clothes torn off and fall over the poor innocent men who just happen to be there at the wrong place at the wrong time….Oops. I guess, if Girls start wearing a chastity belt with the key thrown away, everything should be alright.
If there is even a single case of Rape or Molestation which is proved to be fake, then by intrapolation, all the other cases of a similar nature are fake and should not be talked about. Infact, if you Women are ever walking down a dark street (without the helmet ofcourse) and if someone does come and molest you, its probably the guy faking it and you are an involved party for assisting him.
Kissing random girls on the streets and then running away is just a harmless prank. So if any guy comes and kisses you on the street and then runs away, dont try to chase him. Just laugh it off, coz he is simply fooling around and his intentions are not to offend you. And who knows, you might end up getting some great reviews on YouTube … crazy, sums it? Right?
If Meryl Streep speaks out against a disgusting act of the Top Man of America, she is “Wah Wah”-ed all the way to the moon and back. But, if an Indian Meryl Streep does the same thing she is slut-shamed, given death/rape threats and offered a direct ticket on the Aman Ki Aasha to Pakistan, by an army of paid trolls.
If you are 30 minutes late for a flight and are not allowed to board the flight, do check the names of the Flight co-ordinators of that airline. Chances are they are Muslims and they probably hate you because you dont chant the Namaaz 5 times a day. If someone else makes you wait for 30 mins, however, he is an Idiot who does not value, “Other People’s Time”
Peeing on other people is in fashion and is not relegated to only the “Golden Showers” section of Pornhub, watched by those who have a fetish for that. You can pee on perfect strangers under the guise of Entertainment and the worst that will happen is they will drag you to a make-shift jail, throw you out of the show and discuss it on the TV for a few days, boosting their TRPs. Wonder why we are building those toilets anyways?
And last but not the least, if you copy someone’s status message and post it on your Timeline, you are a “copycat and are encouraging piracy and plagiarism”, but if someone else copies your status message then they are simply “helping the noble cause”, “spreading the word” and you should not say anything about it because, “its the thought that counts” (lol okay, couldnt resist this dig 😛 )
Disclaimer: This post might offend the fans of Payal Rohatgi, so I apologise to all the three of you in advance and promise that I will watch her “Tauba Tauba” once again as a compensation.