While many of you might have heard about Donald Trump pulling US out of the Paris Climate Change Agreement, very few of you must be knowing the real reason for it.
It all got triggered by that one harmless call between Trump and Modi Ji which ended up in Trump taking such a drastic and surprising decision.
My drunk sources happened to get their hands on the original transcript of that fateful telephone call, while sitting in Rosy Aunty ka Adda and sipping on some narangi mosambi cocktail.
And here is how it goes :
The phone rings in the Oval Office and Trump picks it up.
Modi: Trump Bhaiiiiiii, kem cho? Biwi bache sab saras che?
Trump: Mr. Maudi!! Haven’t heard from you in quite sometime. Everything alright?
Modi: All well, Mota Bhai. How are things with you?
Trump: I have all the best things with me, Mr. Maudi. And I have them all. And they are the best. So how come the call?
Modi: Mota Bhai, I am going on a tour to Germany, Russia and Spain. Was thinking if I should come to US too, bade din hue US aaye and I am coming half way anyways.
Trump: Maa Ki Aankh!! Sorry Modi Ji but I am kind of busy.
Modi: Did you just say “Maa Ki Aankh”?
Trump: Yes yes, you know how much I love Hindu. But I am actually busy having meetings with my advisors on the Paris Climate Change Agreement.
Modi: Huh? What’s there in Climate Change to have so many meetings with advisors?
Trump: You mean…You know about….Well, what would you advice on Climate Change, Mr. Maudi?
Modi: See Mota Bhai, these days everyone is talking about Climate Change. Often during the winter Older people say that they are feeling colder. Don’t they say such things?
Trump: Yes that’s true. These days even I feel a little colder when I am not in DC instead of my mansion in Florida.
Modi: Actually its not getting colder. Because we are getting older our capacity to resist cold has gone down. The climate has not changed. We have changed.
Trump: Bingo!!! I knew these Frenchies were fooling me. They have fooled the entire America by naming our potato fries as “French Fries”!! But America will not be fooled again!! America will be Great again. I am withdrawing out of the Paris Agreement.
Modi: Mota Bhai, so can I come to US and meet you now? Maybe in Florida house instead of the White House? I never liked the White color much. Give me a Saffron Dhokla over the white Dhokla anyday…
Trump: No No Mr. Maudi. Now I will get busier. First I have to withdraw the US from this Frenchie Agreement and then I am thinking of lifting and shifting the White House to Florida. Then I will never be cold again. Why don’t you go to Paris instead?
Modi: Okay I will add France to the list of Germany, Spain and Russia. Since they are all close by, maybe Sushma Swaraj Ji will be able to find me a cheaper combo pack tickets, she ka really good at that. Well, you have a good day Mota Bhai…May the Phorce Be with you.
Trump: Excellent Mr. Maudi. May God Be With You and God Bless America!!! Covfefe!!
Modi: Melania Bhabhi ko mera pranam bolna.
(Keeps the phone down)
Modi turns to find a very impressed Amit Shah standing right behind him.
Shah: What did Trump say? Madison Garden book karu?
Modi: Nah he said, dont come. But don’t be sad, in the end he did say “Covfefe”
Shah: Covfefe? Now what does that mean?
Modi: Uff, you don’t know? It means Cow Humari Mata Hain…..In Russian..
Disclaimer: This transcript was found in a soggy state since it was being used to wrap up some bhel as chakna, so the authenticity of this cannot be confirmed. However, for those who might be offended by this “Covfefe to you”…..In Russian. 😉