Bholu had often talked about renovating his house, so when he invited for lunch to see his newly done house, I wasnt surprised one bit.
The door was opened even before I rang the doorbell, which was actually a bell (Ghanta) and saw a grinning Bholu standing in the doorway.
Bholu Bhakt: Come in !! Come in Bhai. Thank you so much for accepting my invitation. You are the first person I wanted to see my home.
Me: Thanks Bholu. I am touched by your kindness.
I entered the house to see Bholu and his wife Durga standing in the middle of the living room painted in a rather weird shade of orange, a familiar song playing in the background.
Bholu Bhakt: So Bhai, how do you like the new colors?
Me: Namaste Durga Vahini. Bholu, it errrr looks different.
Bholu Bhakt: I know … gives you such a patriotic feeling, hain na? I wanted to paint the house saffron from outside too, but society wouldnt permit me.
Me: Err, okay, but where do I sit? I see that you have a table here but no chairs. Have the chairs been ordered but yet to come?
Bholu Bhakt: No No !!! I dont need any chairs. Dont you hear the song playing?
Me: Yes I do…..
Bholu Bhakt: Thats Vande Mataram !! Our National Song. I have put it on an auto-loop for 24 hours. And how can we sit down when our National Song is playing?
Me: Ummm good point.
Bholu Bhakt: And look at the walls, I have put up the photos of Modi Ji and Sardar Patel ji all over the walls. They are standing in the photos. How can we sit when they are standing.
Me: Yes …. thats true too…
Bholu Bhakt: So ready for lunch?
Me: Oh yeah sure, I am starving and I hope Durga Vahini has made some of that delicious fish curry, she makes.
Bholu Bhakt (putting a big vessel on the table and whipping off its lid): Haha no no Bhai, no more Fish Curry in the house now. We will be having only Khichadi from now on. After all its our National Dish !!!
Bholu Bhakt: Yes, every day for lunch and for dinner. Only Khichadi. I want my kids to grow up feeling the same kind of love for our country that I feel.
I was about to respond when Bholu’s son, Bajrangi, screamed from the bedroom.
Bajrangi: Maa Maaa !!! Mother India is ready to play. Come quickly
I stared wide eyed at Bholu.
Me: Bholu, Mother India? In the bedroom?
Bholu Bhakt: Haha Bhai. They are planning to watch “Mother India” the Nargis waali movie today.
Me: Thank God !!! I thought you had a live Cow in your bedroom.
Bholu Bhakt: Hahah App bhi na Bhai, aisa koi karta hain kya? Who keeps a Cow in their bedroom? I keep ours in the garage.
We stood staring at each other for a while as I dug into the patriotic lunch offered to me.
Bholu Bhakt: So Bhai, how did you like my house? Isnt it totally New India types?
Me: I loved your house Bholu, the saffron painted walls, the Cow in the garage, the Mother India playing on TV, the Modi pictures on the wall, the khichadi for lunch always and the Vande Mataram playing non-stop for 24 hours. But I have just one question.
Bholu Bhakt: Sure Bhai, ask na…
Me: How will you guys go do your potty when you have Vande Mataram playing 24X7??
Bholu Bhakt: @%%^#@$%$#%#@$%
Disclaimer: Welcome to New India, where Patriotism is being replaced by Tokenism and Khichadi becomes our National Dish, just because we love making a “Khichadi” out of every issue.